Chapter 24
If you looked in the dollhouse, you would think my family was perfect
But shame and pride holds the other dolls frozen in the moment
It’s time to break the mold
I’m not keeping harmful secrets till I’m old
It’s elegant to move in heavenly silence
It’s disgraceful to suppress hellish secrets within
I inherited a throat energy point block
The women of my family are evidence
At times, hard to find the ability to speak like a missing sock
When I’m worried that I haven’t broken the cycle, I remember my mom and 2 aunts
Silence spoke volumes as I stood on a pool and tried to find the words of truth
They denied nothing but I hope one day they speak their truth
The woman tried to lure me off the pool into the dollhouse
But I felt like they were tom the cat, and I was jerry the mouse
So, I screamed fire, hit, and ran to false safety
I’m forever grateful to the father and son who opened the door for me
Growing up I saw animals sacrificed
However, there is a point that many missed
No animal can be humanly chosen
Each spirit must choose it and willingly assume the position
Sometimes I feel bad for not being the perfect muslim daughter
But pretending would turn me into the goat we slaughtered
My left middle finger holds a heart for my mommy
The dearest and first to love me
I don’t know if abortion is murder
But if you jail a patient or provider
Then round up all parents and get them in order
Round up all parents for killing their children one way or another
The love for a child kills parents’ comfort and sense of security
So, most parents kill their children in return every or some days
Kill them physically, spiritually, emotionally, or mentally
But it doesn’t have to be this way though
I told my mom that faith and fear are the same
And it killed me when she didn’t listen to me so I yelled at her
I couldn’t handle the pain
But faith and fear are different
Fear is a penny and Faith is a 2 dollar coin for those who are observant
Pennies are easy to come by and collect
But once you’ve find true faith, your ego’s mate is checked
So let people decide if they want to be killed
Childfree by choice because they see parent’s pain
Your child can set you free but you should willingly walk to the chair
Willingly strap yourself in and let your child(ren) pull the lever
Every cell in your body will be shocked and in a tizzy
But the execution of your old self will give you endless energy
It’s uno reverse for the love a patient holds for their child
Never again do they sleep nice and idle
Always afraid of bad news when the phone dials
Does it have to be this way?
Can a parent’s love break all intergenerational trauma chains?
To lift the curse I must speak on truth
Use my voice to hit it out the park and that’s on black boy joy ruth
To destroy the curse all women must rebel with their mouth
I’m the third generation so I won’t strike out
If you look in the schoolhouse
You might mistake it for a dollhouse
My mom is seated and I’m teaching
Fuck surviving
Together, we’ll show the world a lesson on eternal thriving